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Character imprints on upbringing

Wednesday, Jul 15, 2020 12:30 [IST]

Last Update: Wednesday, Jul 15, 2020 06:51 [IST]

Character imprints on upbringing

Scene-I

Karan was the sixth numbered only male child of ‘Lalit Niwas’. Fortuitously, he survived by his two eldest sisters. Three sisters died in a row during their infancy before his birth.
The child mortality rate was very high before the seventies. Medical help was limited and people were ignorant about health hazards in addition to the age-old irrational faith. This was one of the reasons for getting more children in those days. If one dies, someone would be alive was a general thought, especially in villages. Moreover, a male child was given more importance than to the girl Childs. 
Most parents were mad about getting a male child. Hence there were a plethora of children almost in every home. Even at this date, a boy is broadly viewed as an asset. He is considered as a future breadwinner and a caregiver to his parents when they become old. It’s a pious obligation in India’s patriarchal society. On the other hand, a girl was seen as a liability to her parents. She becomes a part of her husband’s household and expected to take care of her in-laws after the marriage. But, this trend is changing gradually in educating society now. Daughters also have been regarded equally with sons and can enjoy identical rights. 
Karan had two other younger siblings, later on, named Rohan and Anita. Yet he was given an extra edge of importance being he a first male child in the home after a string of five daughters. His parents were tired of praying God for a male child. God was kind enough and at length, blessed them to beautify their laps in a form of Karan.   
They were happy to be sanctified after many years of penance for a baby boy. Hence, he was enjoying much higher love and respect amongst all other children. He was tossed from one lap to another adoringly and became the star of all eyes. He was like a piece of the moon, who could easily occupy their hearts. He was like, ‘fear of eating by lice, if he was kept on the head, and also fear of eating by ants on the ground.’ 
The trend of giving him an extra edge of love was set by his mom and two of his elder sisters. They didn’t know one day this habit of giving extra attention lovingly to one, in particular, may build up a detrimental character!   
Even both of his younger siblings didn’t dare to protest for the facilities he had been entertained. Both had adapted and grew up that way since their babyhood. Amenities meant for all were enjoyed first by Karan. Later on, he used it as an absolute right that implanted in his mind since the beginning. Hence, words like emotion and negotiation were way beyond to understand by him. He also didn’t apprehend the sentiments of his siblings and had no concern for them. That is what he did everything arbitrarily.   
Rohan hardly wore new clothes except old ones used by his brother Karan till he attained teenage. Often Karan involved in spats having the lion part of any special palatable dish prepared at home. He never tried to comprehend, there were other mouths too waiting for a morsel to taste. No one restricted him from such forced habits.
As the days were rolled by, he became callous on his youngest. His siblings were beaten ruthlessly by him for a small slip-up or sometimes without a valid reason as if he was self-manifested. This autocracy was not limited for a day but perpetuated as an everyday affair. Karan didn’t allow them to go out and play as if the authority to control them was bestowed on him. But he moved all around without a restriction. Both siblings were scared of him, lest he beats. 
Their father Lalit stayed away from home due to his service constraint. While he was on leave, he observed Karan’s behaviour for not keeping and caring for an amicable rapport with his youngest. Hence he was not very happy with his elder son Karan. He didn’t like one’s monopoly and wished everyone should enjoy equal rights in his eyes.
Lalit tried his best to persuade his son Karan to be cool with everyone. Karan was counseled each time in his short span of leaves and even scolded for being harsh on his siblings. But the effect of his advice remained for a day or two.
Finally, Lalit decided to take Rohan along with him, intending to get him admitted in his place of posting. Thus both of them got separated and the conflict amongst them is mitigated.
Two years later, Karan also joined them shortly after he faced his matriculation exam thinking to stay all three of them together until his result was out. Moreover, it was like an outing for Karan to refresh his mind after a marathon exam. Solidarity prevailed between the brothers after a couple of years of separation. Both stayed merrily playing and fishing together in the nearby reservoir when their dad was on day-long duties. Dad was happy seeing their mellifluous affection.
But the calmness of Karan didn’t linger long and started fighting again for a minor misconstrue with his brother. Rohan never retaliated back with a return punch to Karan except crying helplessly. Though Rohan didn’t want his dad to know about all this happening, their neighbour uncle Sharma briefed to their dad in detail.
Lalit thought Karan would act wise and sensible by that time. His forecast proved wrong. Karan never tried to get himself to be a good-natured guy. Hah, two brothers from the same womb, but with the hell of a difference in natures!
It was upsetting for Lalit. The helpless dad was in the sheer loss of his ideas, whether to punish his son physically or to scold him left and right to correct his temperament.
“If he shapes his attitude, the way he wishes to, certainly there is a likelihood of spoiling his life to be called as a good human being”. Lalit was murmuring, but simultaneously thought of a corrective measure. Every effort of his dad to correct him went in vain.   
Karan’s unhealthy behaviour frustrated Lalit a lot. Incidentally, the relation between both got blurred gradually. They started disliking one another and tried to put away their eye to eye contacts. It was far off to talk in between. Bonding between dad and son got cracked and the same steadily got wide. 
Eventually, Lalit decided to let him go home and told to concentrate on his study there, lest he realizes and change his disposition. But, that never happened. Instead, Karan misconstrued himself that he was cornered by his dad and took the side of Rohan. 
It was not that his dad didn’t try to initiate for shortening the gap that created over a period between them, but Karan never showed his interest upon this. Thus they looked strangers under the same roof for eight long years. Even the food was not served together at the same dining table. Both of them were dead set and uncompromising. But Rohan had a good rapport with his elder brother by then. Truly, he never took the things by heart for a longer period.
By the time Karan could grab a state government job after attaining his graduation. Simultaneously, his dad also got retired from the service and made up his mind to settle in his native village. 
Lalit, a diehard believer of God was not a very high ambitious person. He didn’t do anything for his comfort but loved to share things to the poor and needy. Hence he couldn’t save much for the rest of his family.
Instead of staying in his ancestral home, Lalit chose to stay separately within the same premises. A cottage like a hermitage of twelve square feet in size was made out of thatch and bamboos with the help of Rohan. A beautiful seasonal and permanent flower bed was planted around it. A long tiny road with a striking flower gate towards the entrance had made everyone astounded. 
The bamboo walls around the cottage were coated with a mix of cow dung and soil. Then he used his skilled hands to draw some beautiful flowers and birds on all walls using naturally made colours. Those eye-catching surroundings made everyone to gaze a while whoever came to meet him. 
Walking in the morning and chanting hymns of Geeta, was included in his daily routine. He was also a marvelous artisan who made a lot of spellbound art and crafts though he survived with multiple diseases for many years.
Rohan was like a shadow of his dad. Due to his incessant hospitality extended towards his dad, Rohan was forced to escape some papers in his twelfth finale examination for not able to prepare them well. Thus he lost a crucial year of his life. 
Shockingly, one day all of a sudden, after coming back from a walk, Lalit took his last breath. Karan was away on his place of posting then. Sadly, due to the lack of communication in the village, Karan could not be communicated to attend his dad’s last rites.
Rohan reckoned his dad said once that the disengagement of minds may push one far out of sight. But the abut of two souls attracts each other and find both noble owners of them physically wherever they are. That’s a chord of love which was mismatched between Lalit and his son Karan.

Scene-II

A Few years later, Karan got married and blessed with two male children named Prakash and Biplab. Prakash was a cool guy, but Biplab the younger one was a bit naughty and adamant who did all things in a different way as per his choice. They had only two years of an age difference between them.
As they grew up, dad Karan started giving more importance to his elder son Prakash being himself a wise and trusted. Prakash was kept in a reputed boarding school from class six onwards, but Biplab was enforced to continue his study in a local school, though he possessed more intellect than his elder brother. But his dad didn’t try to understand him at all. Rather, his dad was after him for his mischievous acts.
If the things were not turned as per his desire, then Biplab would get scolded or beaten up badly. Biplab started to retort his dad and slowly the atmosphere of the home got worsen. He seemed emotionally detached and withdrawn with his dad. He felt neglected.
As he grew older, became high-headed and violent. He went out of control as he turned out to be physically strong. By the time he reached class nine, he joined in a bad company and started using alcoholic substances and even gambling with them. Using his mighty, very often, he started demanding cash from his mom more than her capacity. Day by day his courage to demand cash continued to grow. 
Biplab made them helpless just because of his dad’s lack of proper upbringing. Dad was not willing to foster him with the same warmth of parental affection as he did for his elder one. That might have left a promising child almost ruined. Had he spent some quality time with Biplab, he would not have to see this day.
Willingness to improve one’s character comes only when there is self-realization. Karan was more of a Judgmental on his viewpoint than to go to the evaluation of other’s opinions. That restricted him to get improved even after his retirement. Wish his father Lalit was alive today, and he would say, ‘as you sow, so you shall reap’.
E-mail: rabin1966@gmail.com

Sikkim at a Glance

  • Area: 7096 Sq Kms
  • Capital: Gangtok
  • Altitude: 5,840 ft
  • Population: 6.10 Lakhs
  • Topography: Hilly terrain elevation from 600 to over 28,509 ft above sea level
  • Climate:
  • Summer: Min- 13°C - Max 21°C
  • Winter: Min- 0.48°C - Max 13°C
  • Rainfall: 325 cms per annum
  • Language Spoken: Nepali, Bhutia, Lepcha, Tibetan, English, Hindi