Sunday, May 31, 2020 15:45 [IST]
Last Update: Sunday, May 31, 2020 10:14 [IST]
Covid-19, I humbly bow before Thee! My Lord, you are the Almighty! You are omnipotent and omnipresent! Yes, you are invisible to our mortal eyes but yet so mighty; and you are also present everywhere – in dust and in pillar (as Lord Vishnu who appeared out of a pillar in His Narasimha avatar)! Your alias Corona befittingly describes your alter ego personality; in Latin the word Corona means both Crown and Wreath – you rule the whole world and you are the end of the world as well! You are mercilessly impartial, oh, I’m sorry, it was slip of my fingers; you are impartial mercilessly. You have spread across all nations and affected everyone. Undoubtedly you are the Almighty!
“Wash your hands” is the single most commandment issued by my wife these days – day in and night out; thank goodness, she has not issued Ten Commandments. By the by, I am hoping to see this legendary film Ten Commandments by Cecil B. DeMille during the lockdown period, thanks to Covid-19.This is one of the positive collateral damages of Covid - 19. In fact, I have a very long list of good old movies to watch (Tamil, Hindi and English) but work at home is too tight. Please note, it is work at home and not work from home, as I am already retired from government service but not from home service. I am at the disposal of my wife 24x7. Despite more than 60 days of lockdown (1 to 4 and possibly to be extended to 5 and, Corona only knows, maybe beyond also), I could watch only one film from that list. While talking about films, my biggest concern is whether I would be able to enjoy this year’s Chennai International Film Festival, if at all held. Even if held, would my wife kindly permit me to mingle in that crazy crowd of film buffs? If this is so, what happens to my bucket list wish of attending International Film Festival of India (IFFI) in Goa, not to speak of film festivals at Cannes, Berlin, Venice, etc.?After all, there is nothing to beat watching movies on big screens.
Right now, however, the most relevant and important concern is whether to ‘invite’ the maid servant from June 1 or not. Does this automatically invite Covid-19 also into our homes? Though most of the households have managed without maids during the lockdown period of 60 days and have become self-reliant and self-dependent, this can’t go on forever. The husbands have realized the worth of woman hours put in by their super heroic partner. This, indeed, is another welcome side effect of Covid-19. I myself have become an all-rounder at home – sweeping, mopping, dish washing, cooking, et al. The most harried task is dish washing that I am thinking of buying a dishwasher if the situation prolongs. I am also Goggling for robots that clean the homes so that I can boss around at least with a machine though not with my missus.
The suppressed craving for junk food sprang up from within me the day the bakeries were permitted to open. I eagerly bought a few cake pieces and presented to my wife. Without a second thought she threw them to the crows for fear of Corona virus. I saw the crows feasting on the cakes with my mouth watering! What if the crows were affected with Corona virus from the cakes? Will not Lord Saneeshwar curse us, I asked my wife. He has already cursed the whole world with Covid-19, she chuckled. So we indulged in ‘Make in Home’ cakes, following the national policy of Make in India. The first attempt turned out to be a rubbery chocolate cake which even the crows refused to touch! So far so good; we escaped from another curse of Lord Saneeshwar.
How I yearn for the pre-Corona free days! When will we be released from the self-imprisonment? Not in the near future, it seems. It is suffocating to wear the simple mask. I can’t help feeling pity for the frontline warriors with full personal protective equipment (PPE) on. They must be sweating within!Like marriage counselors, these days everyone is suggesting that we have to ‘Learn to Live with Corona’. It would be really difficult to put up with both my wife and Corona together. If I have to Learn to Live with Corona, I might have to divorce my sweetheart. Many harried husbands would opt for this decision, I am sure.
After Corona’s entry, my wife has become very suspicious of me. She is always watching me through the corner of her eyes. “Be always conscious of Corona. You are so absent minded (though I am not a professor). Be alert, Be away, Be safe”, she keeps shouting Corona alert messages at me, as if the cell phone messages are not enough. I am really tired of washing my hands. Touch this, wash my hands; touch that, wash my hands. Besides this, I have to gently bathe the vegetables, fruits, eggs and packets with soap. My hands have become fair and lovely!
I am fed up of washing my hands and I am tired of my wife’s “Washyour hands” instructions. So, Corona Virus, the Almighty, please go away. Never come again another day. I do not wish evenmy worst enemy to be afflicted with Corona virus, because any person in any corner of the world with Corona is a danger to me. Do I sound selfish? Oh, damn it!
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