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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: The lasting trauma on Children

SHARON ONGMIT LEPCHA

The psychology of a child in an Asian household is not considered as important as their physical health. A child growing within the periphery of violence , an eye witness to the abuse inflicted on one parent by the other , becomes a silent , helpless victim. The docile child’s world turns upside down. Most children , bearing the past fear and flashbacks of domestic violence develops independence at a very young age , the kind of independence that promises freedom from any bondage and fuels the urgency to protect themselves often resulting in the common act of running away. Some are held hostage by the emotional bonds and are forced to mature early , whereas some become emotionally estranged , viewing anything associated with the family as a burden and something they want to completely rid themselves of.

 Some children , held by emotional bondage , acts accordingly by providing aid to their family , out of their own experience of loneliness that they develop within themselves. This loneliness is accompanied by the fear of abandonment and fear of their own mind , which causes them to think that their own life may , or will mirror , his/her parents’ domestic struggles . Despite  fulfilling their responsibility as a child , they still yearn for independence , an independence untouched by ancestral material goods , family estate but a defined by the harrowing rush to get up in their own two feet.  They long to create their own family , one that contrasts with their parents ‘ , while also actively avoiding the idea of marriage. 

High Suicidal thoughts , existential crisis are a grave issue in children. The presence of the child in social media’s where they are exposed to their friends posting a happy picture with their family or the idea of a happy family scars them very deeply , leading them to blame themselves for their own lack. 

 

The sound of the wailing child , heard amidst  the domestic chaos impacts his/ her life very profoundly , the impact lives on within them for the rest of their life affecting important decisions and shaping their own freedom. 

It is very crucial to address this situation,  as many in Asian households holds the perception of “they have a roof over their head” , completely denying the mental stability of that child and failing to recognise how it affects them in every step of their life. 

(Email: sharonongmitlepcha@gmail.com)

Sikkim at a Glance

  • Area: 7096 Sq Kms
  • Capital: Gangtok
  • Altitude: 5,840 ft
  • Population: 6.10 Lakhs
  • Topography: Hilly terrain elevation from 600 to over 28,509 ft above sea level
  • Climate:
  • Summer: Min- 13°C - Max 21°C
  • Winter: Min- 0.48°C - Max 13°C
  • Rainfall: 325 cms per annum
  • Language Spoken: Nepali, Bhutia, Lepcha, Tibetan, English, Hindi