Sunday, Sep 07, 2025 21:45 [IST]
Last Update: Saturday, Sep 06, 2025 16:08 [IST]
Raising teenagers has never been easy. But today’s parents face something very different from what we grew up with—social media. For many teens, their world is divided into two spaces: the one we see at home, and the one they live online. Both are real for them. And both deeply affect their mental health.
Take a 15-year-old girl I once spoke with. Every morning, before brushing her teeth, she checked how many likes her post had received. If the number was high, her day began well. If not, she carried a sense of rejection with her to school. Her parents thought she was “obsessed with the phone,” but what she was actually battling was anxiety tied to online validation.
On the other hand, a 16-year-old boy I worked with found comfort in online gaming. It gave him a sense of belonging he didn’t feel in school. But the flip side was constant trolling and late-night screen time, which left him withdrawn and irritable. His parents initially labeled it “laziness” until they understood how cyberbullying had impacted him emotionally.
So how do parents deal with this new reality? Not by cutting their children off from social media, and not by leaving them to navigate it alone. The answer lies somewhere in between.
1. Begin with conversations, not commands.
Instead of asking, “Why are you always on the phone?” try, “What do you enjoy when you’re online?” This opens a door rather than shutting it. Teens are far more likely to listen when they feel heard.
2. Teach them how to see social media critically.
Many young people don’t realize how curated these platforms are. One mother I know began watching short reels with her daughter, pausing to talk about filters and edits. Over time, the girl stopped comparing herself so harshly.
3. Set boundaries as a family, not as punishments.
Simple habits like “no phones at the dinner table” or “screens away 30 minutes before bed” make a big difference. And if parents follow the same rules, children see it as fairness, not control.
4. Take their feelings seriously.
If your teen feels left out because of a party picture they saw online, don’t laugh it off. For them, it is real pain. Saying, “I can see why that hurt. Want to talk about it?” creates trust that lasts.
5. Anchor them in offline life.
Encourage sports, music, volunteering, or family time. A father I know started weekend treks with his son, which not only strengthened their bond but also gave the boy confidence that didn’t depend on likes or followers.
Parenting in the digital age is not about eliminating social media. It’s about raising children who can handle it without losing themselves. When parents listen with empathy, set healthy limits, and model balance themselves, they give their teens the resilience to thrive—both online and offline.
(Abha Agarwal is a Counseling Psychologist (Neotia Mediplus OPD & Diagnostic Clinic) who works with women facing anxiety, burnout, emotional suppression, and identity loss. She helps women reconnect with themselves and reclaim rest, space, and inner strength. Reach out: 9733217536)
