Why Are Young Wives Killing Their Husbands? It’s Time to Look Beyond the Headlines

Another newlywed bride kills her husband. Another headline. Another shockwave.

This time, it's Muskan. Last time, it was Sonam. Both married. Both reportedly in love with someone else. And both accused of murdering the man they had just vowed to spend their life with.

It sounds horrifying—and it is. But behind every such case, there is more than just a crime. There is a mind in conflict. I don't excuse such acts—but I do look deeper.

“I Never Chose This Life”

In many Indian homes, especially in traditional setups, young women are raised to obey, adjust, and “do what’s right for the family.” They’re rarely asked what they want. Many end up in marriages that were arranged for them, not chosen by them.

Now imagine this: You’re deeply in love with someone else. But your family doesn’t approve. You're married off to someone you don’t know—and suddenly expected to start a new life, and smile for pictures. On the outside, you look like a happy bride. Inside, you feel trapped.

This emotional disconnection creates a dangerous divide between the life she’s living and the life she longs for. Her mind may slowly start to believe: “This isn’t my real life. That man—my lover—is my truth. This marriage is a lie.”

It’s Not Love. It’s Desperation

Many assume such murders are “for love.” But more often, they’re rooted in something darker: obsession, emotional dependence, or a desperate need to feel in control.

The boyfriend becomes more than a person—he becomes a lifeline. The only one who “understands” her. The only one who sees her pain. The only one offering a way out.

And that’s where things turn tragic. In her emotional tunnel vision, the husband stops being a human being. He becomes the obstacle. The enemy. Someone who must be removed for her “real” life to begin.

Silent Rage That Builds Over Years

Many of these women carry something that society never talks about—rage. Rage at being controlled. At being silenced. At being forced to smile when they want to scream.

Over the years, this rage can build quietly. Then, when the pressure of marriage, duty, and emotional isolation becomes too much, that rage erupts—not always in the healthiest or safest way.

It’s about years of emotional suppression boiling over.

And Sometimes, She’s Not Acting Alone

Let’s not forget—many of these women aren’t committing these crimes in isolation. The boyfriend is often actively involved, sometimes manipulating her, sometimes pushing her to take the leap. In moments of emotional weakness, a woman might see murder not as a crime—but as her only escape.

That’s not love. That’s manipulation.

But Here’s the Real Question…

If the roles were reversed—if a husband killed his wife to be with another woman—would we ask about his emotional state? His inner pain? Likely not.

We’d call him a monster.

This shows a gendered empathy gap. We look at women as victims first, and criminals second. We do the opposite with men. But true psychology demands that we understand every human mind—not just the ones that fit our comfort zones.

So, What Do We Do?

We don’t need more outrage. We need more awareness. If we truly want to stop these tragedies, we must:

1. Let young people choose their life partners. Not just for love, but for mental peace.
2. Create safe exits from unhappy marriages. Divorce shouldn’t be taboo—it should be an option.
3. Listen to the unheard. Women and men need space to express emotional pain before it becomes destruction.

Because behind every headline is a story. And sometimes, that story is a warning we haven’t yet learned to hear.

Abha Agarwal is a Counseling Psychologist (Neotia Mediplus OPD & Diagnostic Clinic) who works closely with individuals navigating relationship trauma, identity crises, and emotional burnout. She believes healing begins the moment we feel seen—and heard. Reach out to her: 9733217536.